I’m scarred. I’m not the naive person I used to be. I won’t be taken advantage because of my feelings again. I won’t trust so easily, and I’ll be more cautious now. I know that things don’t last so I shouldn’t “give it my all.” I’m scared to become the weak person I was because of how I feel. I’ll become stronger, and above all use my head over my heart. The head thinks logically and the heart is blinded by just feelings. I’ll let my guard up. I don’t ever want to be in that position where I can get hurt so easily or be vulnerable. I’m not going to rely on someone to be happy because that’s stupid. I have the capability to be happy myself, and I am.
The question that lurks in my mind is, “why build something if it’s just going to fall?” Sure, it has its moments but isn’t the turnout going to be the same? Someone always gets hurt. What’s left are memories, but how does that benefit you? You could have spent your time invested on yourself than building a relationship that’s not going to work out anyways. I sound like a bitter person hahah :/ Maybe someone could change my mind on that in the future. As of now, I’m really anti-love lolll :]
Friday night was… yummy lol:) Made pasta w/ tomato sauce + meatballs + biscuits + mashed potatoes. & played king’s cup with tomato sauce and Gina’s cream puff filling to get rid of it hahah:) I’m glad that we got to catch up, I missed them <3
Saturday night was fun. I went to a costume party as nature lady..? LOL. I used my old lipsync shirt from 10th grade and put a flower on my head, success ! :]]
& now I’m suffering from homework. More midterms next week :/
Took my first midterm today. It was an essay :O Hopefully I did well, since my brain is usually dead in the morning haha ;/ All this lack of sleep is making me look like a zombie at school. Darn bags under my eyes :[ I’m excited for tomorrow though:) Finally get to see my girls together and make food + drinks teheh:) Tomorrow will definitely be a fatass Friday…
I’ve been working out 3 days in a row so far:) I gotta keep this up otherwise I’ll get lazy again hehe:)
You know you’re stunning You’re absolutely stunning And I’m running always running …
And if you were more daring Maybe you’d stop staring And come over and talk to me Tell me bout how you’ve been waiting so patiently And how you tried but I just turned away And I’ll say yeah well you know, I’m shy that way…
Just got off the phone. Now I’m ready for bed :) I knew I shouldn’t have taken that 4 hour nap and drink green tea… I feel so wide awake haha :/ I’m really regretting taking Friday classes and waking up at 6:50 everyday ;/
I got a paper cut from my notebook & found out that I have two bruises on my leg. :[ Is someone abusing me in my sleep or something ? loll. I remember someone telling me that if you get random bruises out of nowhere then supposedly a ghost is playing with you… I’ll just blame my clumsiness on this one haha :]
Why do people use the word forever? Like I’ll love you forever, I’ll care for you forever, etc. Bullshit. Some people use this term so loosely…but for what purpose? Is this a way of trying to reassure someone that your feelings won’t change even when you know that they will? So for the people who say forever, stop feeding others lies.
"babe I LOVE YOU ♥ ∞"
Mhmm, look how things are now. Don’t be fooled, don’t be naive.
I took a nap, and I had a dream about you -_- It’s so annoying, I swear. I never dreamed about you before but then after that incident in June, it occurred about 3 times already. Is this even normal? I hope that there are no psychological reasons for this. I’m over it, but it’s natural to think about the memories from time to time isn’t it? What is considered normal anyways… & why is it that it’s only happening to me. Are the memories still haunting you ?
Next Fri or Sat:) Depends on everyone’s schedule and if anything we can postpone it more haha:) Go to event on fb ! :P You better go <3 :) I’ll help you with the piano too lol. Ok, I’m going to sleep. Text me if anything :]]
I got a hair cut at the Hue Aveda Salon for the first time. It was something I didn’t expect. I came in and they gave me tea:) Afterwards I got a scalp/hand/shoulder/neck massage. I had no idea that a haircut would come with all of those things haha. I was so tense because I never got a massage before loll :) It was relaxing and I love my new haircut :) I got home after that and took a nap until 7. Why is it that I feel even more tired after napping ? -_- Now I’m suffering from homework :/ Next semester I’m going to avoid getting morning and Friday classes for sure !:[ Can’t wait for the weekend <3 :)
Something about it just soothes me. For a moment, I can forget my troubles and relax. I woke up from my nap and I was laying in bed for the longest time looking at the rain outside my window. Or maybe I was just being lazy… lol.
Please wash away my worries and the memories that keep coming back in my head. Thank you.
Oh man, my feet are sore. Haha, I definitely had fun today though;) Haven’t been clubbing for a while :O The place itself wasn’t that great but good company = a good time:) Highlands is still the best hehe:) I kept seeing the same white guy creeping on us though… -_- I swear every time I turned around he magically was near lol. Got Jack in the Box afterwards and now I’m home unable to feel my feet :/ I like how heels can make me feel taller but the aftereffects aren’t that great hahah.=[ I swam 80 laps before clubbing so I’m ready to knock out now lolll. I haven’t really swam during the 5 weeks that school started :/ I promise that hopefully I’ll be more dedicated :)